Midwinter
by FienB
Summary: A BREAKING DAWN SEQUEL...There was no chance that both of us could win. Somebody would lose this time, everybody would lose this time...
1. Preface

_**first:**  
I do not own Twilight or any book of the series or the characters.  
I only own my fantasy._

* * *

**_  
Book 1. Bella  
_**_Preface_

I saw him looking at her.  
He wrapped his arms around his chest, his eyes wet.  
What could we do?  
Was there another possibility?

I couldn't bear this, neither could he.  
How could you leave something you loved so much.  
A dim remember of my own dark time came into my head.  
She reached out for him. Her eyes wet too.  
I know we had the same thought in his head.  
But we had to do this.  
There was just no other possibility.  
Murdering the whole town was no option.  
Edward wrapped his arms around me.

"We have to go." He said in a whisper, watching our silent conversation.  
This final words…

* * *

_this is the preface, more is coming :D  
please review and sorry again for quitting Clear night, but I had to do that.  
Maybe I'll write on that one too, but it'll be very difficult._

_Sorry for my terrible English, but I'm from Belgium you see..._

_xxfien_


	2. Drawing

**Drawing**

Everything fitted. My whole life fitted.

I had everything I wanted. I never dared to dream about those things and now I had them all.

Edward sat next to me on the couch. His arms wrapped around me in a tight hug, while I watched Renesmee playing.  
She was almost a year now -though she looked like a eight year old.  
She and Jacob were best friends, that couldn't be any different. Yet.  
He was hers. He belonged to our family in the right way. The way it should be.  
She knows everything about it.  
She knows what will happen when she's older. When she's the same age as Jacob.  
They are inseparable.  
And so they would stay.

Charlie came every other day.  
And every time he came over, he was shocked again by Renesmee's differently.

Though the growing had slowed down, she still grew way faster than a normal child.  
But she was happy. Happy she fitted in this word like someone special.

Edward taught her things. Not only the vampire things, no, she was interested in _everything_.  
She couldn't go to school yet, the people didn't even know that she existed. For their knowledge, we were studying in Alaska or somewhere else far away.

"No, I want that one." She cried to Jacob. Her smile made me dazzle again.  
It sounded like ringing bells in my sensitive ears.

"The brown one?"

"Yes."  
Jacob gave her the brown crayon.

"What are you drawing?" He asked her.

"Don't look yet!"

"But I want to know." He begged, knowing she wouldn't give in.

"Don't! You'll see." She said without losing her concentration. "It's a surprise."

"For me?"

"Jake!"

"Alright then." He crossed his arms across his chest.

I laughed now too and looked in Edwards eyes. There, too, was a smile.  
He kissed me on the corner of my mouth.  
Again, those tinglings were burning inside my cold body.

"Will you give me that pencil please mommy?" She asked me in her quiet voice. She didn't use her gift this time. Probably she was too busy.

"Here you are."

She wrote something in her beautiful handwriting. That's something she had from her father.

"Are you ready now?" Jacob asked impatiently.

"Almost done. Just…" She bit on her tongue while she wrote the final words. "Done."

"Can I see it now?"

"No, mummy and daddy first." She said with a grin on her face.  
She handed me her drawing. What an artist she was.  
She'd drawn our family. The _whole_ family.  
On the left there were Edward and I sparkling in the sunlight, he hugged me tight in his arms. On the right there was Jacob in his wolf-form. The brown fur seemed so real. And in the middle of the drawing, there was Renesmee. One hand padded on my arm, one on Jacob's. She smiled. Above her, were colors and shapes. Little fantasies.  
It was so beautiful.

"Do you like it?" She asked.

I pulled her on my lap.

"It's beautiful sweetheart. So beautiful." She smiled again.

"It is." Edward agreed and kissed her forehead.

"Turn the page." She whispered in my ear.  
I turned it and on the backside there was Shakespeare's first sonnet.

_From fairest creatures we desire increase,_

_That thereby beauty's rose might never die,_

_But as the riper should by time decease,_

_His tender heir might bear his memory:_

_But thou, contracted to thine own bright eyes,_

_Feed'st thy light'st flame with self-substantial fuel,_

_Making a famine where abundance lies,_

_Thyself thy foe, to thy sweet self too cruel._

_Thou that art now the world's fresh ornament_

_And only herald to the gaudy spring,_

_Within thine own bud buriest thy content_

_And, tender churl, makest waste in niggarding._

_Pity the world, or else this glutton be,_

_To eat the world's due, by the grave and thee._

These words, they meat so much to me.

"Can I see it now?" Jacob asked.

"Sure." Renesmee gave it to Jacob.

"Wow Nessie, that's a good one. Seems real. I love it." His answer was.  
Not even mentioning the words on the backside.

"We're going to hang that one up in your room." Edward said, tightening his hug.

I repeated the written words in my head. Twenty, thirty, fifty times.  
She was so right.  
This was my life.  
I looked in her warm brown eyes. Her hand padded my cheek.

_That's how I love you._

She showed me in her head.

* * *

_this was the first chapter  
I hope you like it  
Sorry for my terrible English but I'm from Belgium_

_Please review, I want to know if I should continue.  
thxx Fien_


	3. Practice

_I own the title of Renesmee's book  
Black Rose is mine :D_

* * *

**Practice  
**

We went to our cottage.  
Renesmee ran almost as fast as _we_ did now.  
With the drawing in her little hand, she ran silently between us. Edward held her other hand.

"Mommy, I'm not tired yet." She said.

"Yes you are." Edward answered in my place.

"Daddy, stop reading my mind!" She pulled his hand.  
I laughed.

"You need your sleep, sweetheart." I stroke her hair.

"But mommy…"  
We arrived by the cottage. Our happy place.

"Shall I read you a story?" She asked.  
Though she had to sleep, I gave in.

"Which one would you like to read?"

"Can I chose?"

"Sure."  
She went to her cupboard, but not to the books.  
What was she doing? Had she stolen books or something?  
She took a little blue wrapper out of it and came sitting next to me.

"Mommy," She said in a whisper.

"Yes."

"I wrote this book myself."  
She opened the wrapper.  
On the first page stood two words in her beautiful handwriting.  
_Black Rose.  
_She started reading. Her soft voice sounded like the wind in my ears. Soft, beautiful.

I didn't look back from her book, I read the pages once, twice, three times over.  
The story was so…You can't get words for it.  
She kept reading and reading. It must be almost midnight when her eyes closed. She let held her book.  
I waited a little longer and then putted her in her bed. She was so tired.  
I took the wrapper and kissed her on her forehead.

"Goodnight, special one of mine." I said. I pulled her quilt over her –though she was warm.  
I sighed happily. And turned around. Still thinking.  
I didn't even notice Edward standing in the door. I crashed into his chest, still holding Renesmee's 

book.  
He hold me tight in his arms.

"What are you thinking." He asked.

"I don't know." I whispered.

"Won't you let me see it?" He asked –pleading –his arms tightened around my waist.

"She's special that one."

"Yes, she is." He sighed. "As special as her mother."  
I looked up at his face. His eyes were sparkling.  
His lips found mine in the same second. He kissed me very gently.  
He pulled me up in his arms and wore me toward the living room. His lips not moving an inch from mine.

"Let's practice." He said as we sat on the couch. He pulled me on his lap.  
I sighed.  
Because we didn't need any sleep or didn't get any tired and Edward discovered that he _can_ read my mind if I didn't block him, we practiced every night.  
I tried to pull my shield out of my body, to get it around us like a soap bubble.  
It felt really strange, every time again.  
But I was getting better and better in it.  
I could hold it now for almost five minutes –without distracting though.  
That was Edward's challenge. Not distracting me –and that was _very_ difficult for him.

Trying to get the bubble bigger, I thought about Renesmee's book.  
She'd used Edward and me as leading characters.  
The electricity between us, just everything.  
She wrote our story.

"I know." Edward whispered, tightening again.

"It's just so…" I started, I wanted to cry, but only dry tears came out of my eyes.

"Ssst, Bella. I know. Concentrate, hold that thought."  
But I couldn't hold that one.  
Like always I got distracted in other thoughts.  
How happy I was with Edward, how close our lips were.

"It's getting difficult out here." He said through his gritted teeth.

"Sorry." I said, but I couldn't get that thoughts away.  
It was getting worse.  
I started lingering on the details.  
That was it.  
He couldn't handle it anymore and that was a circle; if he couldn't handle anymore, I couldn't either.  
The thoughts disappeared and became reality.  
Reality for what you can call reality.  
He wore me to our bedroom.

No more words.  
No more thoughts.  
Only happiness…

* * *

_please review :D_


	4. Unexpected

**Unexpected**

It started getting brighter outside.  
I looked out the window. No sun, only gray and green.

"Too green?" He asked. There was a dim remember of a time when he told me what I dreamt.

"Yeah…Still," I kissed him for a couple of seconds, "I am happy now, I always have been since I am here."

"Always?" He asked in a soft laughter.

I hugged him tighter in my arms. He felt so warm, it still doesn't seem right, but I was almost used to it.

"Yes, always. These are the only times I want to remember. Our always, you understand?"

"I understand. What other times?"  
We laughed together now. But I knew he could never forget that dark period, it was notched in his unlimited memory. I couldn't either, but I tried.  
I could forget these times, but somewhere in my head, I knew I won't. There was always a reminder. Some even very close. Too close. Like my best friend, my son in law.  
_That_ was a scary thought. Uhg

"What are you thinking? Now I totally can't stand it anymore."

"I was thinking about Jacob."

"Ah. Now you say it like that, I think he's coming. Renesmee will wake soon I think. It seems like he is programmed to her."  
I sighed. Why now?

"Stupid Jacob."

I heard a howl in the forest. Oops, to loud.

"He's coming in his wolf-form?" I asked when I realized.

"Yes, that's way faster." He said, kissing my forehead. "Lets get dressed, he'll be here in half a minute or something."

It still made me feel uncomfortable when I stepped into the huge closet.  
I sighed. Like I did every morning.

"Watch out, the sooner or later it will become a tick when you keep doing that." He whispered in my ear as he wrapped his arms around me.

"Yeah you're right, but Alice will pay for this. It still takes a whole minute to figure out which clothes I'll wear."

"We don't have a minute now, shall I help you?"

"Please?"

"Right, a jean and a hoody?"

"Yes." I grinned, Alice is going to murder me when she sees me in this clothes.

"You know what Alice is going to say, don't you." He said while he raced through the closet.

"Yes, I do. And I don't care." I said casual. "Besides, you'll protect me, don't you?"

Who said that?" He laughed while he locked my bra and pulled the shirt over my head.

"You did, a hundred times already. That's something I _do_ remember. First, you protected me from yourself, than from Tyler's van, than from James, and from…"  
I couldn't finish.

"Yeah, yeah, I know already." He putted his khakis on. "I'll protect you."

As he said that words, Jacob knocked the door and came in.

"Hey guys!" He called from the living room.

"Hi Jake." Edward called back. "She's not awake yet."

We walked to the living room.

"Jake!" Renesmee's smile made me melt again.  
She ran into his arms.  
So she _was_ awake.

"Hey, still growing huh?" He said as he kissed her forehead.  
That, too, made me feel uncomfortable. Edward tightened his hug.

"Yes, One-Thirty now." She smiled. "But I want to be as big as you are." She pointed his tummy.

"Oh yes?" He laughed. And then pulled her op and putted her on his shoulders.

"Now you're even bigger." He said. Renesmee screamed it out.

"Oh. Hi mommy, hi daddy." She mentioned us finally then.

"Hi sweetheart, how did you sleep?" Edward and I asked together.

"Good, I dreamt."

"About what." I wanted to know.

"I'll show you, Jake put me down please."

Jake putted her on the flour and she ran into my arms now.  
I carried her in my arms.  
She patted her hands against my cheek.

_Everything was new and I was searching for Jacob. _Her visions told me. _But I couldn't find him anywhere. He was gone.  
There was just you, daddy and me. Grandpa wasn't there either.  
It was a nightmare._

"It wasn't real honey, don't care about it."

"What was it?" Jacob asked concerned.

"She had a bad dream."

"Mommy, I want to go to aunty Alice. Can we go now?" She pleaded.

"Yes honey, let's go."

As we ran toward the house, I started thinking.  
There will be a time that she has to leave him, unless he convinced his pack to come with him.  
That time wasn't so far away anymore.

"Good morning everyone." Edward said when we walked through the door.  
But there was something wrong, I could feel that.  
Edward ran upstairs to Carlisle's office.

I heard my family gather there.  
I went upstairs to.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

Alice looked me in the eyes. And then scanned my clothes.

"Look what you wear! _I_ haven't bought that!"

"What's wrong?" I asked again, more nervous.

"We have sort of a discussion." She said.

"About what?"

"It's about Renée."

"What's wrong with her?" I started panicking already.

"Nothing's wrong with her, it's just…"

"What Alice?"

"She's going to call."

* * *

well, please review :D


	5. Choice

**Choice**

Renée called every week. I didn't understand the problem.  
Edward wrapped his arms around my waist, he understood what was going on.

"What's the problem then, she calls every week."

"Bella," Alice began. "She's going to call because she wants you to come over to Jacksonville.

"Then I'll fly to Jacksonville."

"Bella," I knew there was more. "We can't stay here much longer, people are getting awkward."

"We have to leave as soon as possible."

That was pretty much a shock.

"And…and Charlie?"

"You know he can't come with us."

Edward tightened his arms.

This was it then. The point of leaving.

"What do I have to say when she calls?"

"I don't know." Alice said.

"Say we're leaving." Edward said.

"And then? What will she say? She'll come over to us then."

"Give her a wrong address and a wrong number."

"I can't do that." I said, began to feel what it was like crying without tears. "She's my mother Edward."

"I know. I know." He kissed my hair.

"What should I say to her?" I sobbed. Another thought filled my head.

"And what about Jacob, I can't leave Renesmee behind."

"None of us can." Carlisle said. "He has to make a choice too."

"Which choice, keeping her here?" I started getting nervous.

"No, leaving his pack behind."  
I hadn't suspect that one. There was no way he could possibly leave them behind.

The phone rang…

* * *

I know it's a very short chapter but more is coming  
I PROMISE.  
x fien


	6. Desicion

**Decision**

I had to think very fast now. Normally, that shouldn't be a problem, but now I couldn't see things clearly. Every fraction of a second that passed was a fraction too much. Edward wrapped his arms tighter around my waist. That wasn't helping either.  
I had no time to think.

"Bella?" Jasper's soft voice came from behind me. I knew he were here, I felt it.

"Bella, you have to pick up the phone now." He said.  
I thought one more second. Though the phone kept ringing.

"Bella…" I reached for the phone, though I didn't knew yet what to say to her.

"Wait." Edward stopped my hand.  
Everybody watched his hand now, then they glanced at me.

"She don't have to do this." He said.  
I saw them thinking about his words.  
I didn't understand.

"Bella, he's right. You have a choice. You don't have to pick up the phone." Carlisle said.

"How can't I?

"You can just let it ring. You don't have to speak to Renée."  
They were right. What would I tell her. She didn't even know about Renesmee.  
But there was another voice in my head that told me she would freak out when I didn't pick up the phone. She would call Charlie and ask for an explanation. I knew how well Charlie could lie to her.  
Wasn't there another way? Another possibility?  
Was it the last time I had a chance then to talk to her?  
She didn't even know she was a grandmother.  
I reached for the phone.

"Hi mom." My voice sounded terrible in my ears, I knew she would think different about that.

"Hi Bella, how are things?" She was so happy to hear me.

"Well…" I didn't know where to begin. "Everything fine there too?"

"Yes, very well. Phil just won his fourth game in line." She must have heard the tremble in my voice. "Is there something you have to tell me Bells?"  
I changed a look with Edward.

_Do what you think is the best. _His lips formed the words.

"Well, yes actually." I started. "We decided to go to Alaska for studying eventually."

"Oh, well that's good news. I'm happy you're completely healthy again. When are you leaving."  
I changed another look.  
His eyes told me what to say.

"In a week, maybe two." I managed to say.

"Oh no, I can't come to visit you before you leave. Phil has to leave the country for a game. Can you believe that? We are going to Europe."  
I was so happy she reacted like that.

"Give me a call when you've arrived, will you?"  
My voice broke, I was saying goodbye again. For the last time.  
_Should_ I give her a call.

"Bye mom," I said without any promises. "I love you."

"Love you to kid, greet Charlie for me."

"I will." That was a promise I _could_ keep.

"Bye honey."

"Bye." She laid in.  
I was frozen, frozen in time.

"Bella?" Edward took the phone out of my hands. "Are you alright?"  
I turned around, buried my face in his chest. Sobbing again.

"I am. Everything's fine."  
He rubbed my back and kissed my forehead.

"Are we leaving?" Jacob stood in the doorway.  
He heard everything.

"We can't be leaving. We can't."

"_You_ don't have to leave." Rosalie grumbled to him.  
He made a face. Everybody knew he had no choice and we weren't leaving Renesmee behind.

"We _are_ leaving," My voice was weak. "I'm sorry Jake. You knew this time would come."  
He started trembling, he hadn't done that for a while.

"Alice, take Renesmee." Edward said casually. She took her gently in her arms.

"Go, Jake. Go thinking." Carlisle added.  
There was a growl and then a silence.  
Renesmee reached toward me and padded her palm against my cheek.

_Is Jake mad at me?_ She asked.

"No, he's mad at himself."

_Do we really have to leave, I like it here._

"Yes, we have. I'm sorry honey."

* * *

I hope you like it so far.  
Please review  
xfien


	7. Time

**Time  
**

"No, I'm not happy to leave either."  
Carlisle was calling the hospital. He had to tell them we're leaving.  
I heard the assistant on the phone, her voice sad.

"_Are you sure Doctor Cullen, We're going to miss you here." _She asked. I was a 99 percent sure she meant herself in the first place as she said that.

"But we have too. Doctor Snow can replace me, can't he."

"_Of course he can, but it won't be the same. There is no better doctor than you, Carlisle."_

"I'm sorry Anna, We have to."

"_Will you come over soon?"_

"Probably not. Will you pass my greetings."

"_Sure. Uhm...Goodbye than…doctor Cullen."_

"Goodbye Anna, I'll miss you too."  
He shut the phone and sighed.

"You're really going to miss them aren't you." Edward's voice came from behind me.  
Carlisle sighed again.

"Yes, I will."  
I got a strange feeling in my stomach. Like I was going to puke or something. That look on Carlisle's face, it reminded me of something.

"Mommy?" Renesmee called, she'd probably seen my expression.  
She reached out for my cheek.

_Everything's going to be fine, isn't it?_

"Yes sweetheart," My voice broke. "It will be."

_Where's Jake?_

"He's thinking honey, this isn't easy for him." My voice sounded weak.  
Renesmee sighed.  
Suddenly I thought about another problem.  
Charlie.

"When will we leave?" I asked. Suddenly fast thinking.

"Uhm, in a weak maybe two." Edward said, trying to read my face. "Why?"

"Charlie."

"He'll understand."

"Yes, I know but will he let me go without him?" I started panicking.

"He should."

"I can't think of leaving him. He'll cry Edward." My arms made panic gestures in the air.  
Edward, suddenly, wrapped his arms around me. I calmed down.  
Dry tears rolled over my cheeks.  
"Why am I such a cry baby?"  
Edward shrugged.

"I don't know." He smiled his crooked smile. My smile. "Before, you were so brave. Now, now you have what you wanted, it seems like your braveness faded _with _your humanity."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I understand." And he did. I looked up into his eyes, and he did understand me.

Someone knocked the door.  
Emmet went to get it.  
As he did, Edward stiffened besides me.

"What is it?"

"Bella, don't panic."

"Who is it Edward?"  
Renesmee reached out for his face.  
She started smiling.

"Grandpa!" She cried out loud. Trying to get loose from Alice' arms.

My mind went black.  
Why now.  
Was this coincidence?  
_Was_ there even something as coincidence in this world?

* * *

_I'm sorry I didn't post for a while.  
And that this one isn't that long.  
But I had a lot on my mind these times.  
But I'll try to post more often.  
I hope you still like it.  
Please leave a message.  
x fien_


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